Children. I’m not a fan. There, I’ve said it. Sure, babies can be cute, but I know that when I reflect on my life the span of time from age 5 to 19, I was a total shit. So here I present two more reasons to support growing children in pods (my faith in science knows no bounds).
#5,436: Disruption to Civil Places I frequently work at a local coffee shop, and enjoy the atmosphere of people coming and going, hanging out, studying, whatever. But when a parent brings a child in, and that child screams and jumps up and down demanding a hot chocolate, I contemplate whether prison would be all that bad, considering I don’t think kids are allowed. And once they order, the parents typically sit around, sipping their coffee, while their children run around screaming. I’m not sure where I’ll be working this summer, but I am certain my time at Old Crown will dramatically decline.
Note that it’s not just the physical presence of children—they also hired a barista who can’t stop talking about her grandkid’s god-damn show choir experiences. Seriously, no one cares that much (if at all).
#5,437: What Cody Wants, Cody Gets It’s difficult enough for me to maintain friendships with the busy schedule I (and seemingly everyone I know) have, but it’s doubly hard to do so with my friends who have kids. The scenario, repeated ad nauseum, boils down to “well I know we talked about going out tomorrow, but my kid wants a pony, so we’re going to see about riding lessons; next week sometime?” Uh, probably not. Because either a)you’re kid will want a puppy, or b)I’ll have gotten tired of getting the message that you don’t value my friendship enough to stick to a schedule.
Yeah, I know, I’m a bitch. Tell me something I don’t know. And bring on the pod people.
9 Comments
The first problem was naming their child Cody, in the first place.
Okay, I could definatly see where you were coming from if this were what you were surrounded by everyday. But I think your preconcieved notion of children only allows you to see that type of child and parent. I have seen children of 2yrs to 18yrs who do actually listen to their parents and do not behave as brats. I have two kids who have their moments and at 2 and 4 yrs of age have to earn what they want. You might find that broadening your scope of the different types of children may bring a likeness of children instead of a dislike from poor examples you have experienced.
OMG … yes yes yes yes yes!
Thank you!
I am a female, and I am short statured.
As a result, I do not enjoy the common everyday pleasure of going shopping or anyplace else in public for that matter, without the little brats starring, pointing and making remarks. True, after many years, one should be use to such occurrances, however I only grow more angry, and it is the parents who are basically at fault. They should instruct their children that there are many types of people out there, black, white, fat, thin, tall and SHORT.
The little brat can hardly walk, yet I get the smart remarks and occassionally I make a remark to the child and the mother says to me…”well he or she is only five” to which I respond that that is no excuse, PLEASE TEACH YOUR CHILDREN MANNERS. I have zero tolerance for them all and relate to them as DEMON SEEDS.
Sorry you kiddie lovers out there.
Merle Sue Schneiders
Gee, I’m short too but minus the insecurity. Since when did someone commenting that you are short (a fact, not just opinion) equate to an insult? Children, unlike adults, speak honestly. They call ‘em as they see ‘em, and unlike adults wouldn’t be so easily insulted. When you’re walking away, the parents are probably telling their kids that’s the reason not to talk to strangers. Some are plain psycho.
Whatever happened to manners? Being polite seems to be a thing of the past. I was taught at a very young age not to point or make comments about any person. And if I didn’t have anything nice to say, not to say anything at all. I was taught to be quiet and polite in public as well as at home. Whatever happened to “please” and “thank you”? There are a lot of rotten children out there running around taking advantage of their lazy parents and causing very unpleasant experiences for everyone who isn’t related to them. I know these parents are lazy and give in to their children’s whining and temper tamtrums because that’s the easy way out. Why else would we have a TV show called “Super Nanny”? I say bring on the pods!
I’m glad some one out there shares my dislike of children. I was in the supermarket today and just simply doing my grocery shopping when one of those 2 ft. sprogs runs behind me, nearly running over saying “Excuse me but can you get out of my way, I need to get to my mommy”. The kid maybe honest but parents should start to instruct their demon seeds that the world doesn’t revolve around their needs…no one really cares if the sprog needs to get to mommy or not…at least I don’t.
Interesting or maybe not! at some point in your life you were a child too, so with that in mind you must have disliked yourself.
I was on a shock site for a spell and somebody posted a video PSA about child abuse. I for one don’t condone that type of thing, but I guess my biggest mistake was mentioning that I dislike children. At least three (or was it four?) people ganged up on me and thought they ‘put me in my place’. As I looked at their profiles, they’re all married (or having relations) and with children, and they all smoke. I am a volunteer for vhemt.org and a malthusian, plus I really don’t see the need to breed. They used that “children are the future” cliche’ and said that “having kids changes your perspective” B.S. I am glad that there are intelligent, level headed people out there who dislike children. Oh, and I forgot to mention the gangers-up in question liked to accuse me of being narcissistic and ‘on the lowest level of human hierarchy’ as well as ‘pretending’ to be intelligent….for hating kids! Go ahead, google “malthusian dilemma”, and “vhemt.org” and see where I am coming from! Who is more intelligent overall? The person with two offspring adding to the population of the earth, the national debt and poverty, or the child-free person who chooses to spread her memes instead of genes? Go figure.